How to Play Poker Like a Complete Amateur

A satyrical poker strategy book for amateurs. Learn the logic behind all of the most common amateur poker player go-to moves. In this book Wes Cutshall explores the nuances of the amateur poker mindset while shedding light on the reasoning and logic that drives the vast majority of the poker community. This book has won zero awards.

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How to Play Poker Like a Complete Amateur
                Book
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Chapter 1

Limping

The good hands in poker are widely agreed upon to be pocket Tens, Jacks, Queens, Kings, Aces, Ace-Queen, Ace-King, and Jack-Ten suited.


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Chapter 2

Overbetting

The Scale of Disgust is an increasing scale by which you must raise to a larger and larger amount preflop the more you despise a specific starting hand.


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Chapter 3

Ace-King is a Drawing Hand

About 70% of the time that we flat call Ace-King preflop we’re going to miss the flop completely. This means that we will lose with Ace-King 70% of the time.


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Chapter 4

Pocket Kings are Ace Magnets

Since pocket Kings is such a strong preflop holding we simply have to call every bet our opponent makes post flop even once an Ace comes out.


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Chapter 5

Find Your Favorite Hand

Your favorite hand might be a hand that you think you’ve won often with, like Queen-Nine. Or your favorite hand could be that hand you won a really big pot with that one time and now you play it all the way to the river every time because this hand owes it to you, like Five-Six suited.


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Chapter 6

Checking Dark

When you check dark you can literally have any hand after the flop comes out. You could have top-top. You could have bottom set. You could have Kings (if there is an Ace on the flop). You could have missed completely with Ace-King.


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Chapter 7

Show Them You're Not Bluffing

All amateurs know that only bad players bluff. You do not want to look like a bad player; just an amateur player.


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Chapter 8

Making Them Fold Draws

You should attempt to bet enough that your opponents fold all possible draws on the flop. In order to achieve this you should bet at least the size of the pot, and sometimes more.


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Chapter 9

Playing Passive Out of Position

Playing out of position is the hardest thing in poker outside of making a pair with Ace-King.


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Chapter 10

Math is for Chess

Math has no part in the game of poker. Math is for Chess. Poker is a feel game.


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Chapter 11

Deck Changes

If you haven’t won any hands for 2-3 orbits its time to request a deck change. Especially if this deck is favoring one player at the table.


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Chapter 12

Being Unbalanced

Establish your actual range by adjusting your bet sizes to the strength of your hand. Don’t get stuck guessing at what they’re guessing you have.


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Chapter 13

Betting in Odd Numbers

These bet sizes make it appear as if you did some sort of mathematical calculation before you came up with your bet amount. When you’re betting a specific odd number your opponents will know that you have the best hand and won’t try to bluff you.


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Chapter 14

Explaining Your Play

Make sure at showdown, when you win a hand, that you explain how you processed all of the information they gave off to make the best decision.


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Chapter 15

How to Tilt

In order to "tilt" you must first start with being results oriented. You will learn how to be results oriented in the chapter.


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Chapter 16

Chopping Tournaments

Once you’re in the money you need to start paying attention to who is scared and who is playing with reckless abandon. Once you have eliminated all of the recklessly aggressive players it’s time to discuss a chop.


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Chapter 17

Finding the Hot Seat

Don’t overlook the value of sitting in the same seat week by week. That seat knows you and how you like to play.


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Chapter 18

Locking Up a Win

If you are playing a cash game and you get up 200 Big Blinds it’s time to leave. Everyone knows that you can’t be this lucky forever.


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Chapter 19

Bankroll Mismanagement

Your bankroll is the amount of money you have set aside for poker. Often this comes from the ATM.


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Chapter 20

Tipping

When you have pocket Kings and the dealer puts an Ace on the flop and you have to bet half your stack just to get everyone to fold then the dealer knows they’re not getting tipped.


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Chapter 21

Trying to Go Pro

Don’t expect to win right away. You will probably still need to chop a few tournaments before you adjust to the new players.